Wednesday, November 18, 2009

God, You're to blame!!!

All types of circumstance embrace our lives.   Some we can see coming and others spring up to our surprise.   many people in the world have come to a belief that God exists either because they really have seen the evidence, or they were raised to believe.  although, I was raised to believe in God i needed convincing for myself that he was in favor of me and of my life.  Due to lack of knowledge of Gods nature i felt a necessity to blame him as things went wrong in my immediate life.  
my mom passed away in 2000.  maybe a month before that i had gone to visit her and the visit was very negative, she was very negative about how she was treating herself and then accused me of stealing money from her, yikes. I was about 15 at the time and really didn't understand what was going on and why she kept accusing me but, she was deteriorating and things like that tend to happen.  sadly, that was the last real memory that i had of her.    I saw that she was suffering and while i told my grandma that i would not visit her again because, i was so angry i also prayed to God and ask that he let her life end or heal her because she was suffering, then she passed away.  i felt a need to blame God because of the sadness i felt at her passing.  she was never in my life and now the sure hope of that opportunity for her and for myself was gone for ever.   I don't think that i held on to that blame very long but, it was long enough for bitterness and unforgiveness to build up inside of my heart.   I felt so guilty that i had that one last memory so i worked hard not to really think about it yet, when something like that is lodged in your heart it will manifest it self in different ways. "Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life." The bible instructs us to guard our hearts that is because we love to hold on to things negative and that have hurt us, when we do that situation, or person sometimes gives them power over us when they've moved on from the situation and most likely ignorant of doing anything wrong.

God i the creator of the universe and because he  is our natural understand is that he causes ALL things to occur. Well, there are some things he will cause and other things that he will ALLOW. What he allows is most often what we allow. If your mother or father used and abused drugs for most of their adult life with out repentance disease will settle into their lives, cause & effect.  There are some questions along those lines that i can't even answer although i wish i knew why.   Most of it would include  why this person has said this or that ? Or, why would this person do this or that to me or someone else? In situations like that I believe the most powerful answer you can give is your reaction.  You're reaction should, in all those cases, be humbled and Godly with out  being on the edge of vengeance which would reap  a greater situation then you probably asked for.  

In cases of death, i found that prayer about your feelings toward the situation help definitely in the healing process.  When my dad became ill in 2008, suffering from his second  and most severe stroke I felt a great sense of unfairness because I had one parent who had been gone for almost 10 years, 8 specifically and my only parent left was and still gravely ill. "Wow , Lord, you don't want me to have any type of happiness in life huh?" I thought , that's just a few words ...anger rekindled and I could only say that this was unfair. I never gave a second thought, at that time to how badly my dad started to treat himself with drinking.  After his first stroke he  was prescribed medicines  that he would have to take for the rest of his life and that depressed him. So, rather than dealing with having to take those pills to deal with that reality he increased  his drinking and not long after his 1st stroke he suffered the second one and is still in a comma.

God gave us a clear mind and ability to deal with the life ahead of us.  Without unity with Him we can either simply, grow further apart from His reality  or, use things to replace Him, drugs, alcohol, sex etc...
There's nothing really logical about destroying yourself because you can't deal, but it's more prevalent than ever.

Unity with God means that we have communication with Him, which happens anywhere not just inside the church or the church parking lot. Unity with God is just what it is unity with God which is accomplished through Christ. When the unity is accomplished we are better able to get through the dysfunctions of life with out heading for self destruction.

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