Choices

Before my job, I went 7 months with out any work or unemployment income. That time was very hard for me but since I have a job now seems so far in the distances. I was so very thankful for this job once it was offered to me and I was excited to see how the store was ran exactly. 3 months later I'm in a bit of a conflict. I already mapped out how i was going to approach this job, quiet, cordial and professional. The store didn't match my expectations at all, often I'm talked down to because I'm quiet on the job, most people that know me know that when I'm comfortable I'm definitely a talker and opinionated but that's among friends and in a more comfortable situation. The people that I work with aren't my friends, they're my co-workers so there's a level of respect that has to go with the job. I've also noticed the amount of back bitting that occurs. I remember being in high school and doing it and i still make that mistake but I recognize what I do so i don't want to add fire to the flames with it. What bothers me most though is just the way I'm treated as an employee. it's not cause for a bigger complaint I just need to decided what I'm going to do with the situation that's been given to me.

A soft answer turns away wrath but grievous words stir up anger so says the biblical proverb. When you are striving to be one with the creator adversity will most definitely come your way, not because you deserve it but because the 'world' hates good, hates security. For example In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2. The same was in the beginning with God. 3. All things were mad by him; and without him was not anything made that was made. 4. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not. John 1:1-5

Also ....

He that believeth on him is not condenmed: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19. And this is the condemnation that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20. For everyone that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. 21. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. John 3:18-21

No one person is perfect and when we have accepted Christ as Lord of our lives and God as a Father and Creator, in this dark world we are going to be subject to a lot of things we may not desire to be. No matter what I face on my job my integrity is always going to be at the forefront , I believe, because I'm doing something different than what everyone else is doing and I'm in Christ. And in the condition that this world is in morally we got to strive for God and keep the faith in Him

God, You're to blame!!!

All types of circumstance embrace our lives.   Some we can see coming and others spring up to our surprise.   many people in the world have come to a belief that God exists either because they really have seen the evidence, or they were raised to believe.  although, I was raised to believe in God i needed convincing for myself that he was in favor of me and of my life.  Due to lack of knowledge of Gods nature i felt a necessity to blame him as things went wrong in my immediate life.  
my mom passed away in 2000.  maybe a month before that i had gone to visit her and the visit was very negative, she was very negative about how she was treating herself and then accused me of stealing money from her, yikes. I was about 15 at the time and really didn't understand what was going on and why she kept accusing me but, she was deteriorating and things like that tend to happen.  sadly, that was the last real memory that i had of her.    I saw that she was suffering and while i told my grandma that i would not visit her again because, i was so angry i also prayed to God and ask that he let her life end or heal her because she was suffering, then she passed away.  i felt a need to blame God because of the sadness i felt at her passing.  she was never in my life and now the sure hope of that opportunity for her and for myself was gone for ever.   I don't think that i held on to that blame very long but, it was long enough for bitterness and unforgiveness to build up inside of my heart.   I felt so guilty that i had that one last memory so i worked hard not to really think about it yet, when something like that is lodged in your heart it will manifest it self in different ways. "Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life." The bible instructs us to guard our hearts that is because we love to hold on to things negative and that have hurt us, when we do that situation, or person sometimes gives them power over us when they've moved on from the situation and most likely ignorant of doing anything wrong.


God i the creator of the universe and because he  is our natural understand is that he causes ALL things to occur. Well, there are some things he will cause and other things that he will ALLOW. What he allows is most often what we allow. If your mother or father used and abused drugs for most of their adult life with out repentance disease will settle into their lives, cause & effect.  There are some questions along those lines that i can't even answer although i wish i knew why.   Most of it would include  why this person has said this or that ? Or, why would this person do this or that to me or someone else? In situations like that I believe the most powerful answer you can give is your reaction.  You're reaction should, in all those cases, be humbled and Godly with out  being on the edge of vengeance which would reap  a greater situation then you probably asked for.  


In cases of death, i found that prayer about your feelings toward the situation help definitely in the healing process.  When my dad became ill in 2008, suffering from his second  and most severe stroke I felt a great sense of unfairness because I had one parent who had been gone for almost 10 years, 8 specifically and my only parent left was and still gravely ill. "Wow , Lord, you don't want me to have any type of happiness in life huh?" I thought , that's just a few words ...anger rekindled and I could only say that this was unfair. I never gave a second thought, at that time to how badly my dad started to treat himself with drinking.  After his first stroke he  was prescribed medicines  that he would have to take for the rest of his life and that depressed him. So, rather than dealing with having to take those pills to deal with that reality he increased  his drinking and not long after his 1st stroke he suffered the second one and is still in a comma.


God gave us a clear mind and ability to deal with the life ahead of us.  Without unity with Him we can either simply, grow further apart from His reality  or, use things to replace Him, drugs, alcohol, sex etc...
There's nothing really logical about destroying yourself because you can't deal, but it's more prevalent than ever.

Unity with God means that we have communication with Him, which happens anywhere not just inside the church or the church parking lot. Unity with God is just what it is unity with God which is accomplished through Christ. When the unity is accomplished we are better able to get through the dysfunctions of life with out heading for self destruction.

The “Us” Factor from “God’s Love Letter” (my project)

Written in 2006

The "Us" Factor

This writing is intended to reveal the true heart of our Daddy God, through life experiences past and present I will attempt to let the reader know and by the power of the Holy Spirit, believe in their hearts that God is absolutely in love with you and also to remind myself of this marvelous reality.

    Through scripture we know that "God commends his love toward us…" He revealed, introduced, show forth His own love toward us. Even though we've done wrong, God demonstrated His love toward us all. Even in our sins, He covered us in his love and rescued us sending His only-begotten son, Jesus our Lord to die on the Cross in our place.

When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden Genesis records that God covered them Genesis 3:21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

What great love that God would forsake His own Son on our behalf. Matthew 27:43 "He trusted in God; let Him deliver Him now if He will have Him; for He said, "I am the son of God." NKJV…27:46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" that is, My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" NKJV also.

At a time where Jesus needed his Father the most He was forsook by His own. I remember when the film "The passion of the Christ" was in theaters a person responded to the crucifixion by saying "If I was there I would have saved Jesus" There are 2 things wrong with that statement:

1) If Jesus did not die for our sins, we would have been doomed to fail in our own strivings.

2) We would have never experienced the abundant life Jesus came to provide.

Though it is believed to be conditional, God's love is in fact unconditional. He is not discriminatory upon who He loves and doesn't although, some may argue. Sometimes we wonder if God, even though we are saved by Jesus Christ our Lord, our insecurity takes us into a realm of un-belief where we are not sure if God really loves us or not or, does His love sway back and forth with what we do against or fail to do for Him out of disobedience? The bible talks about God loving us with an everlasting love and drawing us to Him with His loving kindness and tender mercies. (Jeremiah 31:3)

See also John 3:16-17, 18-19 (Whole Chapter as context)

John 3:16 Says this...For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

He (God) loved the world "this way" that he delivered, suffered , gave, his only begotten Son (not just son of God but a son of Man also) that whosoever meaning, whomever will, whole etc should believe or entrust, have faith in Jesus, should not , die, but have life forever …!!!

Gods Love letter says that He loves you with an everlasting love and he has drawn you unto Him with loving kindness.

    As God began to heal my heart and really renew my life a lot of my past began to come back to my memory. Things that I had forgotten God allowed again to come to my memories a lot of humiliating moments where I felt abandoned and alone. One time I could remember was when I was in first grade. My mother had come to my elementary school. I was so ashamed because I knew even at a young age that my family was dysfunctional I was afraid that she would make a scene, all I remembered feeling was utter embarrassment; I was afraid she was high or would again just make a scene. I knew a lot of my class mates had both parents living in the home. I hardly had one. The only stable person I felt was in my life was my grandmother and my father, although he had problems of his own. The lack of parenting in my life breed a very shameful personality I was deeply insecure. Food was a comfort for me and that led me to be overweight at a young age I was teased and rejected early on in life as I saw it. I saw myself as disgusting, unwanted unloved, not worth anything. We weren't born into this world asking for these things although we've received them, because of sin we now have a duty to work toward freedom through the Lord Jesus Christ.

John 8:36 "Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.

     "Hurting people hurt people" if you understand this statement, congratulations that door to healing for you has just been unlocked. The reason is you've just admitted or acknowledge that those that have hurt you have also been hurt by others in a vicious wounding cycle. The end result of these acts is un-forgiveness, bitterness, betrayal and, resentment. Without the Father's rescue and love, Satan has access to you through those emotions which are brought by our human *sinful* nature. Now, we have these feelings that bring about habits, habits that feed sinful emotions. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Habits and evil intuition is the water that allows these emotions to grow and become us. James 1:14 NKJV

God's word tells us in John 10:10 that Satan came to kill steal and destroys, but that Jesus came that we might have life in abundance. When Satan comes to kill, what is he killing in our lives? Dreams and goals, endurance and struggle. What does he want to steal? Joy, peace, and knowledge of Gods word. Gifts that God has given to us from His throne. What or who is he trying to destroy? Us. Encouragement comes in knowing God has provided for us ways to escape through His marvelous words of promise.

When we speak and declare the promises of the Lord and what He is saying about us, we capitalize on our Enemy's wiles and are adding victories to our lives through our everyday battles in the spirit.

2 Corinthians 10:3-6 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh (4) (for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the casting down of strong holds); (5) casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ; (6) and being in readiness to avenge all disobedience, when your obedience shall be fulfilled.

We are the apple of our Daddy's eye. We are his main focus His choice interest. Daddy God woos us and draws us to Him with his Love and Mercies if, we would only seek Him with our whole hearts. He promises that when we seek Him we will find Him (Jeremiah 29:12-13). But as we seek Him what do we find in Him? When we come into Him and search Him, what do we find? We find us. When you seek the Lord with your whole heart and search Him, you will find yourself. You will find that you inhabit his whole heart.

Zephaniah 3:17 KJV The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Deuteronomy 32:10 "He found him in a desert land And in the wasteland, a howling wilderness; He encircled him, He instructed him, He kept him as the apple of His eye.

11As an eagle stirreth up her nest, fluttereth over her young, spreadeth abroad her wings, taketh them, beareth them on her wings:

12 So the LORD alone led him, and there was no foreign god with him.

No false god, no evil entity, no lust, pride, envy or jealousy.

cultivate and plant

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

(Hebrews 4:12 ESV)

The word of God is alive and well preserved because it's everlasting.  When we hear his word two events occur either we are hardened by His word or it cultivates our hearts for it's planting.  That planting will produce great fruits to be consumed by the body of Christ and those that are out of the way of God but who He's working on.

The Word of God brings life and preservation from mental, physical and emotional destruction.

Hanging on to unforgiveness creates in us the necessity to build and maintain a facade.

Hanging on to unforgiveness creates in us the necessity to build and maintain a facade.

Jesus wants us to be totally honest, transparent, believable and consistent. He wants the transformation of our inner being to be so complete that what we show to others is who we truly are. We must be willing to be washed clean inside and out. Otherwise, we are but a superficial reflection of God's love, filled with impurity behind our facade.

Whenever we remain unforgiving, we become like the Pharisees who demanded compliance with the letter of the law, yet held intolerance and self-righteousness within their hearts.

Luke 11:39-40 ESV And the Lord said to him, "Now you Pharisees cleanse the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. (40) You fools! Did not he who made the outside make the inside also?

Both in action and in attitude we must be transparent, allowing God's love and grace to permeate our entire being. Purity within and without invites others to know us without reservation. Unforgiveness lodged in our heart creates a false, fleshly protective wall that separates who we really are from the image we project to the world.

♦ We don't want people to know our innermost thoughts and motivations so we erect barriers to keep others from getting too close

♦ We don't invite others into fellowship with us for fear they'll see the truth of our family life.

♦ We avoid telling stories on ourselves because we have to maintain an image of having it all together.

♦ We are afraid to go to a counselor because we know we will be confronted and have to deal with issues that may be painful.

♦ We can't risk or be spontaneous because we have a need to keep everything under control.

♦ We can't adventure because we're insecure if asked to move outside our comfort zone and risk things we aren't sure will work.

♦ We don't trust others to love and accept us if they really knew who we are.

Building facades such as these to protect our unforgivenesses means that we are living a lie. That puts a terrific amount of stress on us--stress which will eventually take its tole in alienation from others and from God, breaking the unity of the kingdom. We must not use the security of our own salvation experience to excuse that part of us which remains unregenerate.

John 4:19-20 ESV The woman said to him, "Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. (20) Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship."

1 John 1:6-7 ESV If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. (7) But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

If you're blessed by what's been written here please purchase Choosing Forgiveness by John & Paula Sandford and Lee Bowman